Terrified

We are all "terrified".
In some way or another, we are all scared of something.
I don't mean phobias. I mean that, on an almost common basis, we are confronted by our common fears.
The most common? I suppose it is the most human and most normal fear of being rejected, eschewed, laughed at. I see it every day, although it may be "masked" behind self assurance, etc.
I thought leaving high school would initiate me into the adult world, a great and wonderful place where people are mature, thoughtful, caring, and understanding. Big mistake, in one sense.
The biggest mistake I may have committed was that, in reality, I thought that becoming an adult would mean becoming mature and thus becoming more understanding of our human species, which is, realistically, difficult.
But in the end, is it bad to acknowledge that one is scared? That one doesn't know? Perhaps a rhetorical question.

"I'll be your man"

It may have been statistically proven, but it does seem to, for once, actually make a stereotype true. Namely that women like to feel they have a strong, dependable, reliable, independant, mature, self-guided man in their lives.
Rather strange, since men in their twenties have been known, again possibly statistically, to be slower to mature than women.
Many friends sigh when they see a male movie star on TV and say: "Why can't my boyfriend be like him? Why can't he simply grow up?"
What do guys say? I'm curious. Do women seem too mature? Too demanding? Too difficult?
So listen to James Blunt's "I'll be your man". To my female hormonal ears, I swoon. To a man? I'd like to know.

Relationships in general

I doubt anyone can argue that relationships are easy. They're messy, difficult, bruising, and paradoxically beautiful and fun.
I've been hearing from a number of frustrated friends lately. About? Boyfriends and girlfriends.
It seems to me that, in one's twenties, a lot of people I know and have befriended have swung either one way or another. Let me explain. Many of my friends have proclaimed their immortal love to their boyfriends or girlfriends, going as far as marriage, while others have shied away from any relationship, continually saying: "I like to keep things simple. I don't want to put a label on our relationship."
Translation? I want to see (aka go to bed with) other people. I want to see you, but I want to see other people.
Why does this make my blood boil? I'm not sure. After all, we are in our twenties, this is the time to party, to experiment, to live life to the fullest. However, to use an excuse as "I don't want to put a label on our relationship" seems weak to me.
Love and sex are a mess, it seems, for this generation, and probably for a number of others. Don't get me wrong, sex is definitely important, but so is love. What confuses me is that many of my friends ask "have you done it?" while few, is any, ask "are you in love?" Has love become obsolete, kitsch, ridiculous, embarrassing?
Well, that's the extent of my thoughts on relationships. Comments anybody?

The beast within

At a class I'm currently attending, my teacher said: "We all have an animal side and a more civilized, controlled side. It's our decision, at almost every moment, to choose which side we want to show to society."
Can anyone agree with this? In today's society, we seem to privilege the "wild" side of ourselves, yet on the outside we all present a reserved façade, a "normal" face. In other words, we say: every day, be focused, concentrated, a bit formal if you must, be professional and cool. But, if you want to be cheered on by friends and even family, be wild and let yourself go.
Think of "So You Think You Can Dance". All right, it's dance. Maybe it doesn't count. Be that it may, dancing is still performing and expressing oneself, and the more free and "wild" you appear, the more people seem to connect with your performance.
There's nothing wrong, at all, in showing one's "beast within". I would even advocate that being controlled and "civilized" is at best respectful, at worst boring.
I have to admit, I find the paradox confusing. Be cool and professional with strangers and party it hard with loved ones, is that the message?

On love

How can be define being in love? What is "being in love?"
Sure, we hear about it in love songs, watching soap operas, reading books.
When I was younger, I searched this incredible feeling I kept reading about. This heart-throbbing, confusing, over-whelming feeling which would make my world go wild.
The good news is that for me, it's finally happened.
But what is love? All right, I'm only 23, relatively young and definitely unexperienced in "love" matters.
I remember annoucing to my family that I was in love at seven. I did have a boyfriend at such an early age, but I can't call it love. It was curiosity, a faint hint of lust perhaps, but definitively not lust.
Some people search for lust. Others search for love. Still others look for a melange of both.
Both, I think, are essential. No lust, no sex drive. No love, no respect.
Sounds simple, and yet life isn't at all that simple. Wish it were.

Dance

I will say it: I love to dance. There's something oddly beautiful, liberating, and freeing about dancing. I can finally let go. I can finally show the world who I am, without trying to "pamper" my façade, without trying to be someone I am not.
I occasionally wonder about dancing and how it has changed over the years. In Jane Austen's time, dancing was communal. Watch "Pride and Prejudice", "Sense and Sensibility", and you'll see how everyone, old and young, ugly and beautiful, are included.
In our modern day society, dancing has become clubbing. I know only too well how it's not for everyone. You can end up dancing with a total stranger and feel uncomfortable. You might have to dance on tables. But then again, I sometimes wonder... why not?
I'm not advocating for clubbing. I am, for sure, saying that dancing has a wonderful way of letting me see the beauty in people which, for some odd reason, they hide.
People have gorgeous bodies. Why hide it?
So says a Mennonite-raised girl, who has also been exposed to Québécois culture and who has always been encouraged to express herself.
So in the end, what am I trying to say?
Maybe this. Dancing is the most wonderful way of letting go, of showing to yourself and to the world, that you are beautiful, and that you WANT to sprint along life's rhythms.
So.... absolutely, I will say... I love to dance.

Relations between people

What do you feel when you meet a person for the first time? Scared, impressed, intimidated, cocky?

I don't think I can ever forget when I was taught about handshakes. It has to be firm, not too hard to crush the other hand, but firm enough to translate confidence.

Is this another North American trend? Or is it too simple and rather simplistic to call this North American? Why do we like or, rather, why are we obsessed with seeming self confident? A weak handshake, a feeble smile, a nuanced and unclear opinion are all sneered at.

I don't know what to feel about this. If we can't successfully make eye contact, we have a problem. If we can't dress accordingly, we are called losers. Society is hard and harsh. So what's the solution? Wish I knew.