As a writer, I've continually been torn between the need to listen to my "inner voice" (and hence develop my own voice) and the desire to imitate the great authors. After all, how can anyone resist Milan Kundera's cool approach, or Hemingway's sparse and direct tone, or even Flaubert's flowery and bewitching style?
I've been given conflicting advice. Some people believe that to imitate another writer is debasing and, even more, harmful to one's writing potential. Others encourage me to read as much as possible and to attempt to reflect as much of their style as I can.
Who is in the right? Perhaps no one. Every time I fall in love with a writer's style, I bite my lower lip and vow to achieve such beauty one day.
I've been reading authors who have depicted a fairly accurate picture of the writer's state of mind. Most of the time, being a writer is fun. One is always observing, delighted when a real life person gives food for thought fffor another character. On the other hand, a writer can easily be compared to a schizophrenic. That little voice inside our head never shuts up.
Do not fear, readers, I'm not going crazy. The fact remains that writers are on the prowl for material, and that their minds never really seem to rest. It can be exhausting.
I'm thinking of one of my favourite poets, Thomas Transtroemer, the Swedish poet who recently won the Nobel prize. During his tumultuous teenage years, he thought he was going crazy. He saw faces coming out of the wallpaper in his bedroom. When he turned to poetry, he was able to transfer his anxiety into words, and miraculously cured himself.
So perhaps words can free one of fears, and paradoxally may encase writers in their minds.
All I know is I have to continue writing. Hopefully one day, my true inner voice will emerge from the depths of my thoughts.
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